The key is to keep the channels of communication open throughout, and to rely on active consent as the model for sexual intimacy at every moment. Look, I get that drawing the boundary between healthy, affectionate sexual curiosity and fetishization might not always be an exact science and it might be a little different with different women. And I want to be clear that working through this stuff applies the same in the context of a casual hookup as it does a romantic date. And having one of those words appear in the middle of our dinner-date is, um, anti-climatic in just about every sense of the word. Underlining all of this of course is the opportunity for new experiences of friendship, solidarity and more. Please adopt this language, even when trans people are not around. Some of the conversation we shared was nice, we talked about film fyi — an easy topic to hold my interest, ladies! Those boundaries must be respected throughout by everyone involved. At one point she shared with me her frustrations over a performance meant to showcase artists from our region in the U. There are trans women who like being touched in certain places or in certain ways, but not in others, just as a similar statement applies for many cis women.
But is she really implying that the men who were invited to exhibit their work were asked to do so on the basis of their genitalia? So with that in mind, I have put together some suggestions for cis women on thinking through some basic trans issues, including ideas on approaching trans women in a romantic or intimate context. Glad we made it this far. And beyond that, this kind of ignorant cissexism just gets in the way of us getting closer and having fun together. Those boundaries must be respected throughout by everyone involved. And from a trans-feminist perspective, I would emphasize that what underlies trans-misogyny is nothing more than misogyny itself. There are trans women who like being touched in certain places or in certain ways, but not in others, just as a similar statement applies for many cis women. A big part of this is what should be a pretty obvious hard rule: Savannah presently lives in Tokyo where her principle hobbies include singing at karaoke clubs and getting lost on the subway. Recognize Our Perspectives I realize there are a wide variety of trans narratives out there, and maybe it could seem like a lot to work through. At one point she shared with me her frustrations over a performance meant to showcase artists from our region in the U. But then she said something that struck a really odd chord: Would I feel comfortable around him? Not to mention that this results in some probably well-intentioned cis women missing out on connecting with lots of beautiful, amazing trans women. Look, I get that drawing the boundary between healthy, affectionate sexual curiosity and fetishization might not always be an exact science and it might be a little different with different women. The thing is, whoever put together this particular exhibition had invited a number of men from her theatre program to participate — meanwhile she and several of the other women who graduated from the program found out about the event later when one of the guys posted it on facebook. Talk With Us Beyond all these more detailed considerations, another key point is simply communication. She also writes on trans feminism and other social justice issues on her blog leftytgirl , preferably while listening to metal. This is completely false and it makes no sense considering the word describes cis men just as it does cis women. Another good idea is to understand that many trans people including a number of trans-feminists have come up with language to describe the cissexist world they see around them, and to challenge society to do better. As a woman I have to say that having a penis never got me special treatment in the academic world. As a side comment, before moving on let me briefly address something that appears in the previous piece that I linked above. Community Inclusion In the last few years this situation has improved in some respects at least in some parts of the U. In principle, I have no problem entering into such relationships with someone I trust and with whom I feel genuinely close. That having been said, if genitalia is the one and only reason for not being into someone, I do think it is worth thinking through that.
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