The excitement, even the passion, are MIA. Hold off if you can! Recharge your sexual batteries by doing things that let you break free from your hectic everyday life, says Berman. When you're ready to move on to oral sex, or to bring in a few sex toys, speak up. That's because when you tell yourself you can't have something, you want it even more. Splurge on something you'd normally never buy — like platform pumps — and wear them for a girls' night out. Make the first move, says Berman. Put your hand on top of his and guide him in how you want to be touched — including how much pressure to use. Instead of focusing on the end game, learn to enjoy the sensuality of sex. You know it's good to escape — from work, the kids, the dust bunnies — and concentrate on each other. Tease yourself — and him. Add a few thrills. If you two are spending quality time together, you're happy. At least once a week, stand in front of the mirror naked and focus on your favorite features — your toned arms, your firm butt, your gorgeous breasts. And you love your partner.
Weight training and Pilates, which force you to focus on your muscles and your form, are especially good for this. You know it's good to escape — from work, the kids, the dust bunnies — and concentrate on each other. A recent study at the University of Virginia found that the leading predictor of a woman's marital happiness was the level of her husband's emotional engagement. Hold off if you can! When you give him a little gratitude, it's a huge bonding moment for him. As a result, your libido takes a nosedive. Research at the University of Washington shows that when men pitch in around the house, their wives are much more likely to be satisfied with the relationship and to want more sex. Pick a place you've never been and order a dish you've never had. The thing is, you like sex — a lot. Even when you do work up the energy, sex feels so You're not quite sure how — or when — it happened. The next time you're at the store or in the gym, take a look around you at all the attractive women who are a variety of shapes and sizes. Think about those moments in your life when you feel completely in tune with your body. But mix it up a little: Chances are, this doesn't happen often enough. The same is true in the bedroom — especially if you and your partner have been together for a while and sex has become automatic. There is no one ideal. Seeing him in a place that doesn't have anything to do with you will reveal a different side of him and reconnect you with the person you fell in love with. After a few years together, it's easy to get lazy in bed. But when you're feeling disconnected, your relationship and your sex life suffer. If you need another reason to exercise, consider this: When you're ready to move on to oral sex, or to bring in a few sex toys, speak up. Tell him how to turn you on. At least once a week, stand in front of the mirror naked and focus on your favorite features — your toned arms, your firm butt, your gorgeous breasts. This will help you reconnect with each other on a whole new level.
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