Most relationships that I had been in before, it was madness to talk about buying houses, getting married, planning for a financial future together, such serious things so soon. Realize that the ex will forever be in their life. It makes it easier on the child, easier on the ex, and will generally create a peaceful life you want to be living. So maintain a great relationship with the ex. Get used to it and keep your jealousy intact. She was the exact replica of the man who was stealing my heart and I was no longer immune to them both. But this man of mine had already figured out how he wanted his life to go. That kind of package deal is horribly intimidating because what if you wind up liking one and not the other?! That was not his way of thinking however, he wanted to see how she was with me and have her grinning vote of approval before investing any more. Consider yourself all a part of one big team working to make that little baby have the best life possible—you all pull your weight and check your resentment at the door. I had noticed that there seems to be an increase in relationships involving people who have children from previous relationships and I would have loved to have a little advice beforehand myself.
The fear of potentially not being with him and losing her in the process is always in the back of my mind, but the idea that maybe I could have them both in my life forever completely trumps it. Your attitude will determine everything. I have learned so much already, but I am well aware that I still have a lot to learn down the road. That kind of package deal is horribly intimidating because what if you wind up liking one and not the other?! The very first time I met his daughter, I was brimming with anxiety. That is a whole lot of love to get tossed your way in a short amount of time and sometimes you want to explode. Realize that their child will always come first. That fear gets washed away every time she runs over to me or squeezes my hand when she is sleeping. Having his daughter changed him; it made him stable, it made him more responsible, and it made him aware of the future a lot more than he did before having her. That was not his way of thinking however, he wanted to see how she was with me and have her grinning vote of approval before investing any more. I had noticed that there seems to be an increase in relationships involving people who have children from previous relationships and I would have loved to have a little advice beforehand myself. And let me tell you, one look at that smile and I was gone. But this man of mine had already figured out how he wanted his life to go. My boyfriend has a three-year-old little girl from an ex-girlfriend of five years. But it is the closest feeling I have ever felt to magic and I will never forget it. Be understanding and patient. He lost the self-centered way of thinking that my prior loves had possessed; he was living for his little girl and now living for me. I met him only about four months after his relationship ended and I jumped headfirst into a whole new scene I had never been a part of before. But take it from me—it can open your eyes and your heart in ways you could have never imagined and will be unlike any other relationship you ever will have. I fell head over heels for a little blonde-haired angel. You will know how he would act to YOUR children should you choose to have kids with him. So maintain a great relationship with the ex. What if the child hates your guts? My heart warms up when I see him tickle and play with her, when I see this big burly tough guy braiding hair or building her a Barbie 4 wheeler. The following are a few little hints if you really want to make a relationship work with a mommy or a daddy: Realize that the ex will forever be in their life. There will be pictures you will see, there will be shared friends between them, there will be a lingering reminder every day that you look at the baby the two of them made together-that person will never be a thing of the past.
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